◘ ephemeral abstract ◘

Sometimes it comes at one point in our lives when we ask ourselves, why do people always leave? Hindi ko alam but right now, I feel so down...nope, I think the right word is sad. It's just that I know one person whom I'll never see again, well technically I can still him but not as usual you know. Don't get me wrong, I'm not really that close to that person but then, you know, that feeling of being left behind makes me feel this way. I'm not really a huge fan of goodbyes. I'm not good at one to say the least. Minsan talaga I get too emotional but then I really can't help it. Having to report to work knowing that one person is gone is kind of different and then there's a looming feeling of another person leaving again.  They say people come to teach us something and they go when they're finished with the roles that they have to play. I don't know if what this person taught me in my current state of life is that I should already learn how to a...

There are so many things that are happening in my life that I'm already at a point wherein any major problem can trigger my mental and emotional break down. Right now, I'm very thankful for having been able to find friends that can enlighten me about the ups and downs of my current situation. It is them that gave me a whole new perspective as to how to go on with my life. I'm a little bit shocked about the things that I've learned about myself and about them as well. Minsan nga talaga mas makikilala mo sarili mo sa point of view ng ibang tao na hindi ka pa masyadong kakilala. Dun mo marerealize na there are certain things na minsan hindi mo makita pero nakikita ng iba and that things are the ones that cause problems that sometimes you cannot correct instantly,like for example, attitude. Kanina lang na-realize ko na 'yung mga tao na dati akala ko is ang taas taas eh yun pa yung mga tao na magpakilala sakin kung sino talaga ako. I mean all my faults and unnecessary ka...

i miss those moments when a random thought comes into my mind and suddenly i begin to write those thoughts on paper... i miss the people and the events that inspires me to write a poem or an entry that describes what i feel about them... i miss having my own time just to ponder on what things to write on my  journal about random things that i see... i miss sipping my instant coffee and staring into my monitor hoping that a good line would just pop into my mind for the entry that i'm writing... i miss spending my time revising my almost 4-year old "novel" that i think would never have the chance to be finished... i miss imagining myself to be writing my own books and making a fortune out of it... i miss sitting on my dorm bed with only the light coming from my study table to help me organize my thoughts... i miss checking out my word bank just to find the perfect word for the things that i'm feeling... i miss the feeling of going insane...

It pays to work hard but I guess it's more fulfilling to know that you've endured some things that you'd never imagine you could. Of all the things that I love about being a career a woman, I think the best one is the memory of that first day when you are actually hired. It's a life changing event that makes you feel that indeed your already part of the industry so now I'm celebrating my one month stay in my company although I'm not yet sure if I can make it through and if I'll stay there for good. This past month has been a whirl wind of emotions due to the fact that I was just starting to sort my goals for the next years of my work life. I think it's still to early for me to decide the specific area that I want to pursue as a chemical engineer but I know for sure that I'm very thankful that the Lord gave me the opportunity to work with my company right now just because it gives me the challenge to overcome my weaknesses by giving me situations tha...

One of the quotes that I treasure the most because it inspired me to write even though I don't even know if I am good enough to.In all the things that's happening in my life I don't have any other refuge but writing... This quote from Tenesse Williams is the exact same reason why I'm choosing to write about the little things that are happening in my world. The world may contain vast oceans and seas but my life seems to revolve only around a small globe. I talk about the everyday experiences that constantly molds me to becoming the person that I would be in the future. Some may talk about happiness, excitement and frustrations but most of the time, my writings talk about the different emotions that I feel in my everyday living. Big and small things that would create an impact to my whole story; to the story that I started to write along with the Lord, almost 21 years ago. A story that soon everyone will forget and some may not even know that my story ever existed. Lif...

Friday night and now I'm able to write again. Lately, I've been trying to figure myself out; what I want to do with my life, my future goals and my life in general. I know that this is very contradictory to my previous posts about having specific goals to ensure that there's a bright future ahead of me, I wasn't lying during those times but right now, I just don't know anymore.  Having been employed just a month ago, I thought hard about whether to stay in my company after the 6 months probation period or not, and still I don't have a decision yet. It's just that, all this times that I've been with the company, I've been trying to figure out whether I fit in or not. So many things have been bothering me and I don't even know if its worth bothering in the first place. I've experienced nothing yet in terms of the work load and yet I already feel confused as to whether I can make it or not. I'm considering some factors in my decision to ma...

I think I'm starting to treat this blog as my new personal diary. I mean every time I'm feeling happy, excited, sad or frustrated, I always end up writing here, maybe because I really don't have someone to talk to especially now that I'm already away from friends.  God, I really miss  my friends right now. I miss having people constantly telling me what to do and always advising me about my troubles in life. I miss our bonding moments and those things that we do just for fun. I guess time's really flying so fast and that we are starting to drift away from each due to the inevitable phases of our lives. We are already starting to find our paths which started from our chosen jobs. I really don't mind it but sometimes there are moments when I want to just see them and talk to them; laugh until we cry; have serious conversations and have comedic experiences from our "sabaw" days. I miss seeing them almost everyday just to do our projects, thesis and all ...

"None of us knows God until someone introduces us." - Piscine Molitor Patel "Pi" in Life of Pi I've just watched this incredible movie Life of Pi which is about one's great and never-ending faith in God. It tells a story of a man who as a young boy has been told that he cannot follow three different religions at the same time because believing in everything at the same time, is the same as not believing in anything at all. He has been told that ' Religion is obscurity and religion is darkness ' and yet he still believed in a greater power; he still believed in God despite all that he has been through. My faith has been renewed and re-energized by watching this movie because it gives us a "concrete" example of God's work in our lives. It focuses on the things that are so often misunderstood regarding one's faith. It tackles the topic of suffering while striving to follow God's path and believing His great plans for...

Bakit kaya may mga taong sobrang tanga? Excuse me for the word pero ganun talaga sila eh. Alam mo 'yung niloloko na nga ng harap-harapan eh hindi pa din natatauhan? Like, will the world end for them if they decided to call it quits? Wala naman kasing manloloko kung walang magpapaloko diba and it also applies in relationships. Nakakaasar lang makita o marinig 'yung mga ganitong kwento dahil paulit-ulit na lang na parang sirang plaka. Kung susumahin ang bilang ng mga taong my ganitong kwento siguro makakapuno na tayo ng isang continent. I'm not saying that fighting for a relationship is bad thing, all I'm saying is that once na naglolokohan na eh tigilan na because it won't get you anywhere. Trust should be the foundation of a relationship next to love. If two people trust and love each other then a relationship will truly work out but once trust is broken, how can we expect people to still love each other despite the fact that they will always look at each other with...

Isn't it funny how you find yourself having the same interest with someone so totally unexpected? :) I just find it so coincidental that we share the same interest and I was really amazed with this sudden realization. Alam mo yun? I was like ' Really he's playing that? Ang galing! ' In fairness nainggit naman ako hehe :) I just find people who can play musical instruments so amazing especially those that knows how to play the instrument that I also wanna learn to play. Makapagpaturo nga sa kanya one of these days (as if!! :) ). Yeah, just another random blog here btw. :D Anyway, regarding my work, well, I'm already getting a grip of it. Medyo may progress na din naman in terms of our understanding of what we will be doing in the line. For the first time I didn't feel like I have an information overload just because I'm so excited and eager to learn more about my line of work due to my retreat last weekend. I also got to experience the pang-aasar of ...

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. (2 Timothy 4:7) I just came back from a weekend retreat that I would never forget. I am very thankful to my sister for inviting me to this one and a half day pre-Lenten retreat entitled " For Our Sake... " which was sponsored by her community Ang Lingkod ng Panginoon. It was once again a life changing event because the Lord answered my questions in a way that I didn't really expect. Let me share those moments that really struck me during the retreat.  Let me start from that first talk which really got me listening. During the first event, the speaker told us that 'There were no accidents; that we were there because God wanted us to be there' . At first I was very hesitant, I didn't believe it because for me, being there was my choice. It was because I chose to be there just to please my sister and because I didn't have enough time to back out since my attendance w...

Having been given so much time to live, I've only realized just now how lucky I am to be able to live a life stripped of much pain and suffering. I've lived a life full of love, hope and acceptance from the people around me and I've failed to realize that not everyone has the same experience as mine.  Everyday, babies are being born and not everyone is given a chance to live long. I've heard so many news reports with babies being thrown away in garbage places and even left in places where they freeze to death. These babies are gifts from God and yet some of us don't realize it. It pains me to see those babies in that condition; human beings that aren't given a chance to see the beautiful rays of the sun and feel the cold drops of rain. The sound of the cry and laughter of those children are being taken away from the world.  I was moved to write this random blog post because I'm really fond of children specially because I already have two beautiful b...

Random rants on a Wednesday night. Yep, go figure. It's just the middle of the week and my work life is just getting tighter and better in some ways. I started progressing in my work especially with the hands on stuff that I need to know. I started the week in leisure but I wish I would end it up with more learnings in hand but that I guess will have to wait until Friday. I just decided to write some things here to remind me that I'm actually starting my professional career and I need some goals as I start in this new "adventure".  Finally! My I.D. is already working so I won't have to put up with constantly filing for attendance correction form which eats up my time in the production area (not that I'm doing something there anywhere). Anyway, I was able to log out earlier so I guess I can log in tomorrow with no difficulty. Yeah, it was really a pain in the ass to be constantly checking if the attendance was recorded given that you've been in the compan...

Note to self: Okay lang ang tag-lish sa blogging world kaya wag masyadong conscious :) Grabe first day ko pa lang sa bagong planta ay puro na bad vibes! I mean I don't want to be a "nega star" according to our facilitator during the orientation but what can I do? Bad things do happen and it happened to ME.  First day sa work in Biñan and I am supposed to be responsible for all my actions pero grabe ang malas ko naman talaga. First pumasok ako sa loob ng production area na pinaikot lang kami and after that tumunganga lang for almost an hour or two dahil sobrang busy ng mga tao. I really can't blame them naman. The good side is that we got to see what the production area looked like but then again hindi namin naiintindihan kung ano mga ginagawa dun so parang wala din. During lunch naman naiwan ako ng mga kasama ko so technically I was late for the shoe and bunny suit fitting and parang naasar pa yata sa akin si Ma'am so yeah sucks for me. But the greatest j...

12 hours ago, I started a brand new chapter in my life but I didn't know that only 8 hours after, I'd feel a sudden pang of regret. The first day was far better than I expected it to be. I gained new friends and become closer to some. We had a blast during the whole orientation and I knew I was happy. I took my seat in the shuttle service knowing that tomorrow will be much better than today. But then one text, one call, made  all the happiness fade and made me doubt my own decision.   Habang nakasakay ako sa bus na maghahatid sa akin pauwi, hindi ako mapakali. It's like my brain and my heart knows that I've made a wrong decision. Paulit-ulit kong binasa ang text sa aking cellphone . I just let my biggest opportunity pass.  May mga bagay pala talaga na minsan kailangan mong tanggapin dahil na rin sa ito ang naging desisyon mo. Maybe I was too hasty and too excited to find stability that I ended up not really looking deep into things and I didn't really weigh ...

Who wants to be a DIVERGENT? Put your hands up! I am not a critique, seemingly so expert on all the tit-and-tat of the dystopian genre. I won't be reviewing its plot since many have already pointed out the content of this book and what you can find. My review will solely be on my own feeling on reading this book. This book review is a bit late since I've finished book almost 2 months ago. Well I've been meaning to have this book reviewed but the holiday season caught up and my interviews came pouring so I didn't have the time. Now, I'm free so better that I do my review of this book.First of all, this book is just an accidental read that I had because I was browsing through the goodreads recommended books and hey I saw this goodread choice of the year so I tried. And here's what I think of it. I am not really a fan of dystopian novels and the only series that I've read by far is the Hunger Games. To be honest, the first pages of the book got me conf...

A week of nerve wracking interviews and tests. Almost 3-hour long rides just to go the test and sometimes interview venue just to have a spare 15-30 minutes of the interviewer's time. And then, what do I get? Still, I'm not sure. Graduating, I thought everything will be a little easier than sit through 5-hour long classes and having to face the multitude of examinations that I'm not even sure I'll pass. Now, looking back, I wish I wasn't so eager to get my diploma and go out to the real "world" aka the industry. I'm saying this for the sole reason that I'm not yet equipped with all the things that I need to survive the jungle where all the experienced people turned out to be the winners. I am not an achiever when I was in college, we didn't even have an OJT and for the record, I'm not an active student during those days. These things, the things that I should have had back then, are what keeps me from finding the job that I would r...

First of all... Happy New Year!♥ I've been out for over...oh well since I can remember. It's just that lately I've been doing a lot of things that needs my complete focus and attention...namely the board examination, family gatherings, etc. Right now, almost all of it is over, I already passed the boards and the holiday spirit is already dwindling. The only important thing that is bothering me right now is having to find a job. And by a job, I mean THE JOB that I think, would be suitable for me. Just when I thought that passing the board exam was the hardest, finding a job proved to be a lot tougher. Don't get me wrong, I'm job hunting and I have upcoming interviews but I'm torn and I have to let some steam out of my system by blabbing here.  As we grow old, everything that seemed to be so simple back then become so much more confusing... I really want to have a work in no time. A work that will give a good pay. One which will challenge me and he...