people always leave...

Sometimes it comes at one point in our lives when we ask ourselves, why do people always leave? Hindi ko alam but right now, I feel so down...nope, I think the right word is sad. It's just that I know one person whom I'll never see again, well technically I can still him but not as usual you know. Don't get me wrong, I'm not really that close to that person but then, you know, that feeling of being left behind makes me feel this way. I'm not really a huge fan of goodbyes. I'm not good at one to say the least. Minsan talaga I get too emotional but then I really can't help it. Having to report to work knowing that one person is gone is kind of different and then there's a looming feeling of another person leaving again. 

They say people come to teach us something and they go when they're finished with the roles that they have to play. I don't know if what this person taught me in my current state of life is that I should already learn how to accept the bitter reality of having people leave in an instant without warning or whatsoever. Because no matter how hard I try to teach myself to accept this reality, I can't seem to get it to my head. I've been to so many goodbyes but then I never really learn. Yes, they leave for the better but then it's still sad knowing that you might never get the chance to talk with them again after they leave especially is you're so used to always being with them. I think I just really don't want people to leave me. People can say that I'm selfish but I don't really care. It's me and no matter what I do, I can't seem to change myself when it comes to these kinds of things. I know I'm cruel when I say this but I want to be the one whose leaving than to be person who gets left behind. It's just that I can't seem to get the good in goodbyes. Cliche.

Moving forward, I guess I have to ready myself for more goodbyes because that is how the world works. Nothing stays permanent in life. I may write this but I really can't promise myself to do it. I think it's really hard to practice what you preach. 

I guess I really am sad since I'm actually writing a blog post since I rarely do except when I'm feeling strange happiness or sadness. Right now I'm feeling one hell of an emotional ride, from thinking of the past, the present and the soon to be goodbyes and sh*t it's killing me.

And I quote Paulo Coelho "I write to empty my mind."