Temporary People

Naniniwala ka ba sa temporary people? 'Yung mga tao na minsan darating sa buhay mo if only for a moment. 

You spend time with them, bare your soul to them and then they leave you, slowly fading into existence. Minsan you'll ask yourself, was it always meant to be that way? Na lagi tayong iiwan ng mga taong akala natin laging andyan for us.

Ako kasi siguro nasanay na, nasanay nang makatagpo ng taong magiging kaibigan pero bigla na lang mawawala. Tinatanong ko rin naman ang sarili ko on what went wrong. Ako ba ang may kasalanan o sila? O baka naman pareho naming pinili na itapon na lang yung pinagsamahan with all the reasons that we both have but we don't care or bother to share with each other. Hindi ako magaling makipagkaibigan, 'yun, 'yun siguro yung dahilan. 

You would say why the random post about this? Kasi nga I feel like I have so many temporary people in my life right now. People whom I've given so much trust but then in an instant parang may nagbabago, some stay away or baka feeling ko lang 'yun? Magaling kasi ako mag-feeling haha. Well, I'm seldom wrong about my instincts naman so yeah I figured it out. 

You know that feeling na you thought you were really close and finally you have someone you can hang out with when you have nothing else better to do in your life. I had that feeling but here's the big but to that, suddenly it all changed. I don't know what happened but it just did. One day we were talking about the most mundane things and then the next we barely even talk like we were never really been friends to start to with. I shared my deepest darkest secret and I won't regret that, I only wished we could've stayed closer. I can still remember my closest friend's remark, "Baka 'di naman kayo close, feeling mo lang yun". And it made me think, baka ako lang yung madaling ma-attach sa tao, I mean maybe the fact that I had shared my secret, may have opened up to a more deeper friendship, but I guess I was wrong. I couldn't understand what happened but maybe it was a choice that that person had to make naman, and I won't question that.

Sometimes I feel like nagiging jaded na ko sa friendships. I mean how can people whom you've felt like your close with suddenly treat you like your not that important? Siguro ako lang yun, maybe I really just trust too much and step back too little. But I trust the process, I trust that I'm meant to meet different people that would help me learn things that I should learn and maybe some of them would stay but some, or one too many, would leave.

My only take away in this is that, in life, we will meet people who would sometimes be passing by. And with those people, we may give our biggest trust and show our most vulnerable self, but they will only be temporary and they will leave if they've already served their purpose. For me, I think I'll still continue trusting people, and I'll just pray to God that maybe those people that I would meet in the future, won't be temporary, that they would be there to stay through time. People who would be with me along the way, who accept the flaws that I have. I do have some few great friends and I'm so thankful for them, but having some new ones won't hurt won't it? In a country so foreign maybe I just want to find friends who I can share my thoughts with if only to feel happiness and contentment in my life.