My Perfect What If (Almost)

Nowadays, I feel like I'm not my usual self because of you. I'm trying so hard to not be affected but I'm helpless. Why? Why am I like this? My feelings are starting to get uncontrollable. 

I know that you've been hurt before and I know how it feels. I want to take away your pain, your fear and your doubts about life, love and relationships. Maybe you already have a clue about this secret that I'm keeping. Maybe you don't want to accept it or you're just choosing to ignore it. Either way, I know that you don't feel the same way for me and I'm ok with it, no worries. To tell you the truth, I've been trying to ignore my feelings for you for way too long now but I guess I just can't. Is this is what they call love? I guess I'll never know for sure. All I know is that I want you to be happy because you deserve to be. 

I hope that everyday I can continue seeing your bright smile and hear your little laugh. I pray that you'll always be the strong man that you are and may you never give up on your dreams no matter how tough life is. And finally, someday, I hope you can open up your heart to someone again. You are beautiful and that I know that that someone will be very blessed to have you.

I am taking a step back and I'm letting life take me to wherever it wants to take me, with or without you. I'm going to drink my coffee like I used to before I even met you and my life will have to continue. Hope you'll find happiness too 🙂