In Bars & With Lights

The constant downpour of the rain inspired me to do something to help me sleep. I was enthused to write a poem/narrative and I never knew that it would turn out like this but anyhow, I still like what I've come up to. Hope you like it too.:)

Bars & Lights

Ushered in the dark lit pathway, it felt like time stopped 

The heavy rain is drowning every ounce of my energy 

Looking out at the water-smeared window, I heave a sigh of regret 

Regret for the times that should’ve been, moments of could’ve been 

The stark coldness of the iron bars leaches on my frail hands 

As if giving me a taste of what’s really behind 

He should’ve been warm in my embrace 

But too late because I chose to stay away 

I chose the life that he so utterly despised 

The ordinary and meager life he so longed to erase in his mind 

I saw the resilient defiance in his eyes 

He looked wary and muted for every word that I whispered in his bleak eyes 

He succumbed to his world where his wounds lie open 

Unhealed and bleeding beneath his dreadful eyes 

He was the epitome of a broken man 

Broken ever since he first tasted the bitterness of life 

I should’ve known that alcohol is his only companion, cigarette his only friend 

He was once so lost that darkness loomed in every inch of his life 

Then a light from a small hole reached his eyes 

He had a glimpse of fortune and riches before his very eyes 

He ran, he stumbled, jumped and kicked until he reached that light 

It blinded him but he still he looked, for far too long at that 

He didn’t dare look away, scared that if he did it might fade 

He lived blinded until he stumbled back to the hole where he came from 

The man was once a lost child, a child that I left and still found 

A child who came from the shams 

A child grown up before his time 

A man hardened by the brutality of life 

A child who became a man who longed for success and gained it 

A man consumed by anger, money and power 

A man so desperate for love and had it 

A man who took a life, the man who murdered my child 

I couldn’t blame him for what he had done 

For he was, he is, he’ll forever be a broken man 

Broken, shattered and irreparable; nothing can be done 

I ask for forgiveness for I should also be behind these stoned walls that I’m about to leave behind 

I shook my head; it was time to go again 

I left the cell, my footfall echoing in every corner of the damp air 

The cold prison held me, hugged me like hell 

As to how long I’d be doing this, I really couldn’t tell 

I emerged as quietly as I came 

Then again, the rain soaked my clothes wetting my tiny frame 

And with that, I’m back to the life I chose to live, and now I’m in solitude 

Back to the luxurious house and fancy cars, jewelries hanging in every part they can 

I’m back in the life that I chose to live 

The life where enough is never enough and love is just a game 

The world where he never came from, the world that broke that man 

A world where I thought I healed the broken man 

I can still remember the moment of how he came to be what he is now 

Once living in place so closed, torn and shabby 

Eating what is available of last night’s dinner, greasy and oily 

Living, one day at time, never able to buy things and relying on things that are free 

A day came when I can’t comprehend a single thing that he was dribbling in his soiled paper 

Then I heard three honks as I blew the last cigarette smoke in his head 

I stood up and just in time he finished whatever he was doing and handed me the dirty paper 

I briefly looked barely comprehending and patted him letting the paper slide from my hand 

I pushed open the creaky, rusted-hinged door, faded by over use 

I heard a whine and as I walk it became a distant cry 

I dragged my cheap suitcase unaffected and made myself comfortable in the sleek black car 

A fancy limousine, so out of place, it hurriedly left the filthy shams 

Yes, I left the child behind and now again I’m leaving the broken man, cold and shuddering 

I made him a prisoner, as I am one 

Prisoner of the ever tempting glittery, rich yet fading light 

Guilty of creating a monster out of my own son, the broken man